Funny Sayings About Your Bed and Sleep!

With our playful bed and sheet quotes, we hope to make you smile! Every night we snuggle into our bed, dream away the day and prepare for the next one. For most people, their bed is their safe place, their warm and cuddly place. We look forward to getting into bed each night, whether it is blissfully alone, with your loved one, or even the family pets! And some love their bed so much that its hard to get out of it in the morning. We’re told by customers that if you’re sleeping on BedVoyage bamboo bed sheets and linens, it can even be hazardous to your job!

I can’t take credit for any of the below, but being in the sheet business, I’ve accumulated some playful bed and sheet quotes. Some are cute, some are a little bawdy, but I hope they’ll all make you smile, laugh, or nod in agreement!

Here we go with playful bed and sheet quotes:

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.”

“Today has been cancelled, go back to bed.”

“I have a date tonight, with my bed, we’re totally gonna sleep together.”

“What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed: oh sheet!”

“Putting your leg out of the blankets and suddenly feeling exposed to monsters.”

“Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police.”

“I’m being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet, and pillows. No need to call the police as I’ll be released in the morning.”

“My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.”

“Let’s go to bed, I’m tired of this day, I need a new one.”

“I don’t have a sleeping in problem, you have a problem with my sleeping in, and that’s not my problem.”

“Dear Brain, please shut up, I’m trying to sleep.”

“Shaved legs and freshly laundered sheets are the best combination, no boy will fully understand such luxuries.”

“I’m great in bed, I can sleep for days.”

“If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the sheets back to your side of the bed.”

“I can’t get out of bed, these blankets have accepted me as one of their own, and leaving now might cause trust issues.”

“When you can’t find your phone because your bed ate it.”

“I burn about 2000 calories every time I put on a fitted sheet by myself.”

“I’m in love with my bed, we are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock doesn’t want us together. That jealous whore.”

I hope you’ve enjoyed BedVoyage's PLAYFUL bed and sheet quotes, and share some with friends!